Lately, I have had a lot of
conversations about the concept of work/life balance. What I find fascinating about each conversation is that many
people seem to think balance is a single event. Somehow you make dramatic changes to your work schedule,
your care-giver, or your daily routine and this dramatic change somehow pulls
your world into perfect alignment.
While this idea is appealing, I have never experienced or witnessed it
in the real world.
In my view, work/life balance is
more like walking a tight rope.
Picture someone walking across the tight rope holding the long stick
with their arms to maintain their precarious position on the wire. With each step they must adjust to keep
their weight balanced. If they
begin to lean a little too far to one side, they adjust the stick to
counter-balance and regain their center. Each step is an adjustment and the tight rope walker
must always be conscious of their movement and their ultimate goal of remaining
in balance.
I am the mother of two amazing seven
year olds. I also own my own
coaching and consulting business.
I am working on a tech start up.
And, oh yes, I recently made the decision to take on half-time
employment at my alma mater to help the institution through a particularly
precarious situation. So, to
continue the circus metaphor (after all I do have two 7 year olds) I have a lot
to juggle. In fact, I probably
drop more balls than I catch. Yet,
most days, I believe I have balance.
At this point you probably think I
am simply delusional. I have a
sense of balance because in every area of my life, I have clear priorities and
rules that I have created that allow me to feel in control of my time. For example, dinner time is very
important to me. Monday through
Friday we eat at the table, as a family, every night. My husband and I share the cooking. Dinner is never anything fancy but always
includes the requisite amount of fruits and vegetables. As a family, we all know this time is
sacred and we honor this time.
With one exception, on Wednesday nights I travel for business. So, on Wednesday my family eats without
me, often joined by an Aunt or Grandparent. Yes-I called the time sacred and told you that once a week I
choose to skip out on this scared time.
I also feel great about both statements!
Wednesday nights while I am away
from my family, I enjoy my time away.
I do not waste time, energy, or mental capacity feeling guilty that I am
not home. In my head, I have
created a “rule” that one week-night away from the family is a perfectly
acceptable arrangement.
Occassionally, business requires more than one night away. When this happens, I pull out my
work/life balance stick and begin navigating my way through. Sometimes this means, I leave the
office early one afternoon to make up for the dinner I am going to miss. Sometimes, I make a mental commitment
to get up early on a Saturday morning and cook breakfast in an effort to
recapture that time around the table that I hold so dear. Sometimes, I make the decision that
multiple nights away is just fine and there is no need to adjust. The point is, regardless of the time
commitments thrown my way, I have created a system that allows me to remain in
control.
Like any tight rope walker,
occasionally there is an event that pulls me too hard in one direction and I
fall off the rope. This school
year, my children enjoyed 15 bouts of strep throat between them. All of those sick days pulled me off
the tight rope and temporarily toppled my work/life balance. During a recent consulting engagement I
had a client whose CFO was embezzling from her. This discovery and the resulting work required to deal
with it, pulled me off the tight rope.
In both cases, once I found myself out of balance, I re-evaluated, took
the required action, and got back to work creating balance.
If you are feeling like the term
work/life balance was created to torture you, it is time to re-evaluate your
rules. Chances are you have
created rules in your head that set you up to lose the balance game. Take a hard look at your work life and
your home life. What do you want
to more of in each? What are you
willing to give up to get it? If
your children are babies, perhaps you want more awake time. If so, can you alter your work schedule
to allow you to be home from 4-7 even if it means working again once the baby
is asleep? Do you need to leave
the office early three days a week to get through baseball season? Rather than approaching work/life
balance with the idea of making dramatic changes to miraculously pull yourself
into alignment, start small. Maybe
all you need is 4 nights home for dinner to make you feel like you have
balance? Just like the tight rope
walker, stay focused on your end goal and make small adjustments. Don’t beat yourself up when you fall out
of balance. It will
happen. Stay aware and keep
adjusting. Work/life balance is absolutely
possible. But it requires
conscious and constant effort to get there.
About Jonelle- Jonelle Vold is a business coach that is passionate about your success. A mother of twins, former Assistant Dean at a tier-one law school, attorney, and seasoned sales professional, Jonelle understands the challenges of high-level professionals. Her coaching philosophy is every person has the ability to be a rainmaker by cracking their own personal code and doing business with intention. You can reach Jonelle at jonelle@jonellevold.com or www.jonellevold.com.
About Jonelle- Jonelle Vold is a business coach that is passionate about your success. A mother of twins, former Assistant Dean at a tier-one law school, attorney, and seasoned sales professional, Jonelle understands the challenges of high-level professionals. Her coaching philosophy is every person has the ability to be a rainmaker by cracking their own personal code and doing business with intention. You can reach Jonelle at jonelle@jonellevold.com or www.jonellevold.com.
