The Monsoon- Making Rain in the Southwest: Walking the tight rope. Your life, your work, and...

The Monsoon- Making Rain in the Southwest: Walking the tight rope. Your life, your work, and...: Lately, I have had a lot of conversations about the concept of work/life balance.  What I find fascinating about each conversation is th...

The Monsoon- Making Rain in the Southwest: Walking the tight rope. Your life, your work, and...

The Monsoon- Making Rain in the Southwest: Walking the tight rope. Your life, your work, and...: Lately, I have had a lot of conversations about the concept of work/life balance.  What I find fascinating about each conversation is th...

Walking the tight rope. Your life, your work, and your balance.

Lately, I have had a lot of conversations about the concept of work/life balance.  What I find fascinating about each conversation is that many people seem to think balance is a single event.  Somehow you make dramatic changes to your work schedule, your care-giver, or your daily routine and this dramatic change somehow pulls your world into perfect alignment.  While this idea is appealing, I have never experienced or witnessed it in the real world.

In my view, work/life balance is more like walking a tight rope.  Picture someone walking across the tight rope holding the long stick with their arms to maintain their precarious position on the wire.  With each step they must adjust to keep their weight balanced.  If they begin to lean a little too far to one side, they adjust the stick to counter-balance and regain their center.   Each step is an adjustment and the tight rope walker must always be conscious of their movement and their ultimate goal of remaining in balance.

I am the mother of two amazing seven year olds.  I also own my own coaching and consulting business.  I am working on a tech start up.  And, oh yes, I recently made the decision to take on half-time employment at my alma mater to help the institution through a particularly precarious situation.  So, to continue the circus metaphor (after all I do have two 7 year olds) I have a lot to juggle.  In fact, I probably drop more balls than I catch.  Yet, most days, I believe I have balance.

At this point you probably think I am simply delusional.  I have a sense of balance because in every area of my life, I have clear priorities and rules that I have created that allow me to feel in control of my time.  For example, dinner time is very important to me.  Monday through Friday we eat at the table, as a family, every night.  My husband and I share the cooking.  Dinner is never anything fancy but always includes the requisite amount of fruits and vegetables.  As a family, we all know this time is sacred and we honor this time.  With one exception, on Wednesday nights I travel for business.  So, on Wednesday my family eats without me, often joined by an Aunt or Grandparent.  Yes-I called the time sacred and told you that once a week I choose to skip out on this scared time.  I also feel great about both statements!

Wednesday nights while I am away from my family, I enjoy my time away.  I do not waste time, energy, or mental capacity feeling guilty that I am not home.  In my head, I have created a “rule” that one week-night away from the family is a perfectly acceptable arrangement.  Occassionally, business requires more than one night away.  When this happens, I pull out my work/life balance stick and begin navigating my way through.  Sometimes this means, I leave the office early one afternoon to make up for the dinner I am going to miss.  Sometimes, I make a mental commitment to get up early on a Saturday morning and cook breakfast in an effort to recapture that time around the table that I hold so dear.  Sometimes, I make the decision that multiple nights away is just fine and there is no need to adjust.  The point is, regardless of the time commitments thrown my way, I have created a system that allows me to remain in control. 

Like any tight rope walker, occasionally there is an event that pulls me too hard in one direction and I fall off the rope.  This school year, my children enjoyed 15 bouts of strep throat between them.  All of those sick days pulled me off the tight rope and temporarily toppled my work/life balance.  During a recent consulting engagement I had a client whose CFO was embezzling from her.   This discovery and the resulting work required to deal with it, pulled me off the tight rope.  In both cases, once I found myself out of balance, I re-evaluated, took the required action, and got back to work creating balance.

If you are feeling like the term work/life balance was created to torture you, it is time to re-evaluate your rules.  Chances are you have created rules in your head that set you up to lose the balance game.  Take a hard look at your work life and your home life.  What do you want to more of in each?  What are you willing to give up to get it?  If your children are babies, perhaps you want more awake time.  If so, can you alter your work schedule to allow you to be home from 4-7 even if it means working again once the baby is asleep?  Do you need to leave the office early three days a week to get through baseball season?  Rather than approaching work/life balance with the idea of making dramatic changes to miraculously pull yourself into alignment, start small.  Maybe all you need is 4 nights home for dinner to make you feel like you have balance?  Just like the tight rope walker, stay focused on your end goal and make small adjustments.  Don’t beat yourself up when you fall out of balance.   It will happen.  Stay aware and keep adjusting.  Work/life balance is absolutely possible.  But it requires conscious and constant effort to get there. 


About Jonelle- Jonelle Vold is a business coach that is passionate about your success.  A mother of twins, former Assistant Dean at a tier-one law school, attorney, and seasoned sales professional, Jonelle understands the challenges of high-level professionals.  Her coaching philosophy is every person has the ability to be a rainmaker by cracking their own personal code and doing business with intention.  You can reach Jonelle at jonelle@jonellevold.com or www.jonellevold.com.